I've been searching for other teen mom's on Blogger and have thus far come up empty handed. I wish there were other girls like me, trying to break the mold of what society believes being a "teenage mother" represents.
I don't want to be stereotypical, but I mean, we've all thought about young mothers in an unfavorable manner. If you face the statistics, most teen mothers are poor and uneducated, living off the welfare system and working at dead end jobs. And, from experience, most other girls put into my situation rely on others to raise/support their child.
You hardly ever see thriving, sensible teenage mothers plastered on your television screen. You see sixteen and seventeen year olds trying to get pregnant. There are times when I want to call up Dr. Phill and say, "Hey mister, now listen here. Just because some girls are having sex with homeless guys in hopes of getting pregnant doesn't make us all losers! Okay?!"
I understand that it's difficult for girls to find a cozy medium between "teen" and "mom". If you lean too far to one side, it's strictly diapers, nap time, and a feeling that you lack any sort of self. But too far to the other side, and it becomes reckless, drunken nights that leave you feeling guilty. I can't even say that I have it all figured out yet, because I don't.
Often, I feel that I'm alone in my struggles. Like I'm the only one who is unsure of myself and the life I lead. It doesn't help making myself so vulnerable, so raw. What you are reading is the truth. It isn't some act I'm putting on so I look like a better mother. I'm not some sympathy-seeking reject looking for reassurance nor guidance. I'm simply putting myself out there because I wonder if other people go through the things I do. If they have the same feelings and doubts and experiences. And if they do, I hope they read this and know they are not alone.
This is why I write.
I write to change people, to uplift them and give them hope. I write because even if I alter one life in the smallest of ways, I have accomplished something. (Okay, and sometimes I write just to release some of the whining and bitching from my head.)